Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Wednesday, 3 June 2020

Sometimes You've Just Got to Say 'No'



Many people find that it's their automatic default to say 'yes' whenever something is asked of them. They may have learned to respond without even thinking about it, maybe regard others' needs as more important than their own or don't want to cause disappointment, offence or appear 'difficult' by declining. Saying 'yes' can be a positive trait that opens new doors and experiences. It can be a significant investment in our relationships, but used too often or without due consideration can also lead to overwhelm, frustration and resentment.

Let's look at why sometimes you've just got to say 'no';

- At times it can become apparent that we need to re-define the boundaries of our relationships and remind/reinstate the parameters of what's appropriate and acceptable. Over time we may have ended up doing things out of habit or by default. That's not always the best or most respectful way to live. From now let's decide to be clearer about our roles and check whether the things we accept or agree to are still okay for us. Saying 'no' can be an important part of reclaiming our self-respect.

- Personal time and space is integral to good self-care. Don't underestimate the role of some me-time. Just because you're free and don't have an important task or commitment at the moment means you should feel guilty or allow others to encroach on that time. If you had an appointment with an important client it's hard to imagine that you'd let something distract you from honouring it. So, put yourself in your diary and say 'no' to cancelling, unless a real emergency crops up. Commit to regular time for yourself.

- Sometimes saying 'no' can be a way of letting others know how much you do, what else you've got on, that you're too busy to take on any more. They perhaps don't appreciate the extent of your responsibilities and commitments, how time-consuming they are and may well back off once you've explained firmly and politely. If you always say 'yes' they may think you don't mind, are happy to be the 'go to guy'. And it may be that it's only upon reflection, that you start to appreciate how much you actually do, automatically, without a second thought.

- Don't forget too that boredom is often underrated. We may feel obligated to fill every moment with meaningful activity, with chores, catching up with people, self-improvement. There's often a list of things we could/should/ought to be doing, but doing nothing is fine occasionally. It lets our minds and bodies calm down and be still. It teaches us about the importance of silence and inactivity, about switching off our 'I'm ready, bring it on' adrenalin. Children often learn a lot when they're bored. All too often they have technology, films and adults desperate to provide constant stimulus and amusement, but children, when left to their own devices, are often ingenious at using their imaginations and amusing themselves. That skill needs to be encouraged.

- Find acceptable ways of saying 'no', that you're comfortable with. Anger and outrage can flare if we feel we're under pressure to do more, always say 'yes', but that extreme reaction is often unnecessary. Saying, 'it's not a good time for me', or 'I'm busy, already doing x and y' may be enough to placate the situation, inform others of things you're already doing and encourage them to respect you and your time more.

- Then there are those of us who say 'yes' so frequently to invitations that we forget which concerts, events, parties we've actually been to! Saying 'yes' too often can turn special moments into a half-remembered blur. A bit like testing too many perfumes, we become numb and unable to fully appreciate each experience.

Saying 'yes' is important. It gets us out of our comfort zone, keeps us alert and receptive to new experiences and opportunities. And often when we say 'yes' and commit to seemingly impossible opportunities or agree to things we don't want to do, we can be pleasantly surprised at how well they turn out. But equally, we need to be ready to say 'no' if we feel overloaded, trapped, taken for granted or not properly equipped to do a good job. Used well, both yes and no can serve positive roles in our lives.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Susan_Leigh/399535

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Sunday, 31 May 2020

How Do I Commit TOTALLY to My Goals?

Commitment is one of the scariest words in any language. It has so much meaning, possibility, opportunity and responsibility wrapped up in those three little syllables. When we commit to something, we make a promise at least to ourselves and often to others. These promises are show that we are serious, driven and all in. We're giving 100% and holding nothing back. Too often though we act as if it's a donation. We treat what should be a serious, consuming desire as if we're dropping some coins in the Salvation Army bucket at Christmas time.
Don't understand why I'm making this point and distinction? Consider the old story about the hen and the pig.
Hen and Pig were talking about the farmer. They really loved the farmer because he took such good care of them. So Hen suggested they do something nice for the farmer. "How about we make him a breakfast of ham and eggs, Pig?" Pig pauses and looks at Hen. "Well, I don't know Hen. For you that's a donation. For me that's a lifetime commitment!"
That's how we need to treat our Goals. They need to be lifetime commitments, not donations. Lifetime commitments drive us. They shape our thoughts. They focus our efforts and attention like nothing else. In many ways, though not all, Goals are like marriage. Both require a total commitment that permeates our entire being. They both require us to reshape our thoughts and actions so serve them.
Note well though. While your marriage should be more important than your Goals, your Goals should support your marriage. There should be no competition.
In marriage we commit totally to the other. We should hold nothing back. We give of ourselves without selfishness or resentment. We do whatever it takes to love our spouse daily.
In Goals we commit totally to the outcome. We hold nothing back in our pursuit of that outcome. We give of our time, talent and treasure without selfishness or resentment. We do whatever it takes to achieve those Goals.
Before you ask, of course I mean that our Goals have to be ordered to support and reinforce our Values. So "whatever it takes" in marriage and Goals does NOT mean something that violates our Values.
Our commitment to our Goals requires a similar relationship as a marriage. We have to be faithful to the Goal. We have to support the Goal. We have to put the Goal before for our selfish desires. Put another way, we have to chase one Goal, or one set of related Goals, only. We have to learn the skills and do the work required to move closer to our Goals. Finally we have to be willing to sacrifice to achieve our Goals.
Commitment means giving our Goals the same kind of attention and focus we give to our spouses. That's why commitment to our Goals is so difficult for some people. They either don't realize the level of seriousness Goals require, or they do and just can't make those kinds of promises.
Make those promises. Commit. Be the Pig.
Setting good goals is essential to your success. Everyone thinks they know how to set goals, but sometimes we don't know or remember some things. Visit http://5things.Success-Maniacs.com/ for a free report called 5 Things About Goal Setting You Need to Know Right Now.
Tim Johnson is a life-long student of self-development and leadership material. He's on a mission to teach as many people as he can to be successful in a moral and ethical way, consistent with their values, that can create positive change in themselves and everyone they meet.
To learn more about Tim's ideas on Success, go to http://www.Success-Maniacs.com to learn more.
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Friday, 29 May 2020

New Book Reveals Ways to Unbecome What Hinders Our Happiness

In Unbecoming, Karen Emenheiser's down-to-earth, honest, and bold perspective on life sheds light on how we all have our faults and flaws, but through God's grace, we are also all worthy. Like all of us, Karen has struggled with feelings of doubt and shame, but over time, she has become "determined to be unapologetically me while I walk closely with God toward becoming the best version of me."
Karen did not set out to write a Christian book, and that's not really what Unbecoming is, but it's important to understand the basis behind it. One night after Karen lost her temper and cried to God in frustration, a realization hit her like a bolt of lightning right in her heart. Then a voice popped into her brain that said, "My Grace is sufficient for thee." She realized then, "It was God's mercy and love letting me off the hook. Not a 'try harder,' not a 'hang in there; you'll get it.' But a genuine, 'You are off the hook.'"
Once Karen had this realization, life became a little easier for her. She learned how to focus on behaviors to keep her triggers from being united-triggers that come from past traumatic experiences. She came to understand that the difficult people in her life weren't really assholes but just anxious people who lose it when they are triggered. Understanding that, she developed compassion.
And there's a lot of compassion in Unbecoming for everyone. Karen walks the journey with us, exposing all her faults and fears and telling us how she deals with the difficulties in her life, giving us tools to deal with them in our own lives. She knows these tools work because she's seen them help others. As a therapist who helps people in the Military, especially families who have had a loved one who has been deployed and separated from the family long-term, she's seen how these practices have helped her clients succeed in healing or strengthening their relationships.
That doesn't mean that unbecoming is easy. Even though Karen has counseled a lot of married couples, she's also had her own marriage struggles. She reveals that she once told her husband she hated him. She talks about how hard it was to have spent the months before they married proving to him she was perfect, only to have him realize after they were married that she had flaws and she then had to deal with his criticisms. Plus, she and her husband have very different personalities. She is fun-loving and outgoing, while he is far more reserved. It took a long time for both of them to quit trying to change or control the other and just accept each other for who they are.
One of the biggest problems we create for ourselves is trying to pretend to be someone we aren't to other people. I love Karen's advice on this topic: "Stop trying to keep up an image as if your worth rested on it. Jesus tells a man in the Bible that if he wants to be perfect, he must sell all his stuff, give the money to the poor, and follow Him (Matthew 19:21). He doesn't say to accumulate more, know more, be more, or do more. In fact, just the opposite... get your worth down to nothing and stop aspiring to being something great. Perfection is a product of having and wanting nothing. Unbecoming rather than becoming."
One of the biggest problems we all face in unbecoming is an inability to live in the moment. We are usually bemoaning something from our past or anxious about something in the future. I love how Karen makes her clients realize this by asking them, "Do you have a problem right now, as in, in this moment?" At first, her clients don't get it, but eventually, they respond, "No, I don't have a problem in this particular moment, at this time, in this room." Karen then encourages them to routinely ask themselves that question when they feel anxious or angry. Almost always the answer to it will be no. Having tried this myself for a few days, I am amazed by the remarkable calming feeling it gives me.
Perhaps the hardest part of unbecoming is coping with the trauma from our past. It can make us into angry, scared, or difficult people. To be happier, we must heal from that pain. To help us heal, Karen shares tips on anger management and how to avoid being passive-aggressive. She shares how to influence people rather than try to control them. She asks us to put our problems into perspective since many of our problems are First World problems and hardly life or death matters. And best of all, she talks about how we need to take risks to heal our past. Here she shares the incredible story of how she nearly refused an invitation to meet with her childhood bully and how that meeting helped her heal and change her perspective.
There is much more in Unbecoming to reflect and chew on, but ultimately, it's a call for learning to accept and love others unconditionally. Toward the end of the book, Karen says, "The tough-lovers of the world have little grace for messy people. What if we could love someone with all the support and dignity they deserve and the grace and mercy that's been given to us... ? We need more 'you do you'-today's expression of grace and mercy."
I hope in Unbecoming, you will discover the grace and mercy awaiting you. Then pass it on.
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Wednesday, 27 May 2020

How to Set Personal Life Goals for Growth

Change is said to be the only constant in life. Who you were five years ago is not the person you are today. However, you might be feeling like you are just drifting through like aimlessly without any target for where you want to be.
If that feels like you, then you probably have not set any life goals for yourself. Life goals are important because they give guide you, give you focus and a yardstick to know when you are headed in the right direction.
What are life goals?
When most people think of personal development, finances come to mind. However, personal development entails continuous expansion of various facets of your life including spiritual, social, mental and physical.
If any one of these facets of your life isn't in order, then all the others might crumble. Self-development, therefore, is multi-faceted and a continuous process that seeks to achieve self-actualization. It therefore never stops.
How to Set Personal Life Goals
You probably have heard that goals should be SMART. This means that they should be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. When your goals are SMART, you are able to visualize them and set up a plan on how to achieve them in the decided time-frame.
Before you jump into writing down SMART goals, you must visualize your life in five or ten years to come. What do you want to achieve by then?
Take the large goals and the big picture and break it down into smaller goals that you should achieve progressively starting today. The smaller you break down your goals, the easier it becomes to achieve them. As you achieve smaller goals, you get motivated because the bigger picture becomes that much closer every day.
Categories you Might Set Life Goals In
As stated earlier, personal development is multi-faceted. It involves all aspects of your life including the following: career, financial, education, family, health, attitude, physical, pleasure, social, love, relationships and spiritual.
It is essential that you focus on all aspects of your life and aim to get better every day.
Take Action
Setting goals and having a plan is one thing; but without action, it all becomes wishful thinking. It is important, therefore, that you start today to work on your goals. As started earlier, it becomes easy to achieve the bigger goals when they are broken down into smaller ones.
Do something daily or weekly that works towards your long term goal without thinking of how long you have to do it. This will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed by how much you have to achieve.
Conduct Progress Reviews
You will not know how far you have come unless you are able to measure your progress. A progress review helps you know whether you are still on track or you have derailed off what you should have been doing.
You can choose when to do the progress reviews based on the goals you need to achieve. You can do it annually, semi-annually or even quarterly.
Go on and use this guide to set smart personal life goals that will see you achieve you dreams in all the facets of your life.
Mathenge Kabui Is an expert author on matters to do with personal development. You can contact him to give you quality content for your website by following the link below: https://www.kenyawriters.com/customorders/
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Saturday, 23 May 2020

The Power Of Positive Thinking: 7 Mindful Habits For Creating Positive Thoughts

The power of positive thinking is one of the major habits of successful people. When you practice positive thinking, you become better at setting the right goals, and better at achieving them. The benefits don’t stop there – positivity boosts your mental and physical health, changing the way you interact with others.

However, even if you know all this, it can be tricky to change entrenched patterns of negative thinking. Becoming a positive person can seem challenging – perhaps you’ve wondered if you’re just immune to the power of positive thinking.
The good news is, you have a choice. You can embrace the power of positive thinking as it’s available for everyone to lear. As long as you have the right attitude and the right tools.
Here are 7 mindful habits that are proven to create positive thoughts that provide you concrete techniques to practice.  Including how to develop new habits that last, so you begin to see a difference in your everyday life.

Power Of Positive Thinking Warning: Positive Vibes Only

Before we go any further, it’s important to note that this guide is a positive vibes only zone. We won’t be dwelling on the difficulties of your past, on the things that have held you back, or on the words of that inner critical voice that brings you down.
Instead, we’ll be looking at the issue of the power of positive thinking in a productive, constructive and proactive way.
Perhaps you’re reading this disclaimer and feeling skeptical. However, if you follow this lead, you’ll soon start to see that maintaining positive vibes really isn’t as difficult as it might sound. With some effort, determination and practice, you can create the sorts of mindful attitudes that all but eliminate negativity from your life.
If you feel you’re not the most positive of people, this can change. Once you tap into your power of positivity thinking, you’ll be surprised by just how many other things start to change in and around you.
As the Law of Attraction tells us, like attracts like. This means that the more positive you are, the more you pull positive people, opportunities and choices into your orbit. You begin to vibrate on a frequency of abundance. The abundance in your life only makes you feel more positive. Conceptualized in this way, there’s no limit to how happy you can be, or how much goodness you can attract.
So, to emphasize again, it’s positive vibes only from here on in. Now, let’s move on to explore some concrete facts about the ways in which consistent, sustained positivity can enhance your life in tangible ways.

Think Positive, Be Positive: What Happens?

  • Cope with stress faster and more effectively – instead of dwelling on the negative, positive people look for solutions. And when we find solutions, stress starts to dissipate.
  • Improved health – there’s evidence that positive thoughts boost resistance to disease and improves the ability to recover from health setbacks.
  • Better relationships with people – we’re all drawn to positive people, so being positive brings more people into our lives. With a positive attitude, we’re also better at communication and negotiation.
  • Become more focused – with the power of positivity thinking, you’re driven to achieve the things that matter to you. You can tune out the noise, and ‘tune in’ to what needs to be done.
  • Feel more confidence – positivity extends to your view of yourself and your value, boosting your self-worth. The more positive you are, the more you believe in your own potential and give yourself opportunities to fulfill it.
  • Be more successful – as a positive person, you not only attract success through the Law of Attraction but are also better at networking and at inspiring others.
  • Experience more happiness – it stands to reason that being positive brings you joy, optimism and satisfaction. When you have a positive mindset, you notice and appreciate the beautiful things in life.

Quotes About Positive Thinking

Positive mindset quotes and quotes about positive thinking and can help you get a better sense of what it’s like, inspiring you to change. Here are some of the best – you may want to come back to these when we discuss making affirmations below.
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.
~ Mary Englebreit
The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.
~ Winston Churchill
If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
~ Jane Travis

How To Stay Positive? Use The Power Of Positive Thinking

Now that you’ve built a deeper understanding of why and how thinking positive can completely transform your life, it’s time to delve into how you can become a more positive person.
Yes, most of us can talk ourselves into a positive thought or feeling, but it is far-reaching, sustained change that really makes the difference. This means it’s important to focus on how to stay positive in all areas of your life.
There are at least seven habits that are proven to help you tap into your power of positive thinking, and we’ll explain how you can develop these habits for yourself, starting today. Throughout, we’ll offer techniques and suggestions that will help you see the many different ways that you might begin to behave differently.
Each of the seven habits that we’ll discuss can be realized through a range of approaches, and it’s important to find ones that fit with your unique goals, values and personality.

The Power Of The People You Surround Yourself With

While we can influence others to change they can also influence us. The phrase “the people you surround yourself with, you become” nicely captures just how important our social circle can be. So, to become more positive (and stay that way), focus on building connections with people who are good at sending positive vibes.
If you ever ask yourself “How can I surround myself with successful people?”, know that the first step is to nurture your existing relationships with people are good at achieving their goals. They may have different passions and work in different fields, but if they are positive and successful then you can become more like them just by being around them.
Once again, like attracts like. The more time you spend with successful people, the more you’ll find yourself meeting new people who inspire and motivate you to succeed. This will enhance your power of positive thinking 10x!
In addition, try to think about success in a really broad way. While you can certainly benefit from surrounding yourself with people who have fulfilling jobs and great salaries, it’s easier to stay positive if you look beyond the workplace. For example, you should also surround yourself with people who have thriving love lives and who devote time to personal growth.
One of the easiest ways to work out who you want to surround yourself – and therefore who you want to become – is to do an exercise where you think about your ideal role model. What traits do they have? What are they good at, and how do they act? This gives you a concrete sense of the types of people you should aim to spend more time with if you want to develop and sustain a positive mindset.

The Power Of Words

The words you choose also play a dramatic role in being positive. Your language affects your view of yourself, your capabilities and your expectations. Success habits require you to be realistic and yet confident, pushing you to be the best you can be. Consequently, people who attract success learn how to refine their language, stripping it of negativity. But what are the most effective ways to tap into the power of words?
Firstly, make a habit of paying more attention to your word choice. For example, you might set a particular time span (e.g. a couple of hours or a day) and then make some notes about which words made you feel empowered and positive.
In contrast, When you notice ways of speaking that don’t help you build on positivity, think about how can change things up. Look to replace words like “can’t,” “never” and “shouldn’t” with aspirational words that describe the life you want to create.
Secondly, designing and reciting affirmations is a powerful way to use words in service of positivity. Affirmations are just statements that you say to yourself in order to support your goals. You can use ones that directly discuss positivity, like the following:
  • “I become more positive each day.”
  • “I am happy, confident and see the best in others.”
  • “I am positive and I attract positivity into my life.”
You can also use affirmations that implicitly reinforce your power of positive thinking towards specific goals in your life. For example:
  • “I have all the qualities I need to be incredibly successful.”
  • “Every day I move closer to the job of my dreams.”
  • “I attract love into my life and give it back to the world.”
There are dozens of ways for writing affirmations. What matters is that they make you feel good and that they capture what you want to achieve.

The Power Of Contribution

The next major contributor to maintaining a positive mindset revolves around the idea of contribution. The Law of Attraction is magnetic, and so what you put out is what you get back. If you look at how you can make the world a happier place, the universe will ensure that your generosity and compassion makes its way back to you as well.
Plus, combined with the power of positive thinking, studies on the power of kindness show that when we’re kind, we end up feeling happier and our stress levels lower. This has a direct and immediate impact on our ability to think positively.
To access the power of contribution, start by asking yourself how you’re currently contributing to the world. Try to think of at least 5 things you’re doing for others, and consider which are more effective. Next, try to generate at least 5 further ideas for ways in which you might give more to others.
There are dozens of things you can do to contribute. Ssome of which are personal and others which promote happiness in strangers. To contribute to people already in your life, think about chores you might be able to do in times of hardship. You can even take care to really listen to people’s problems without judging or trying to offer quick fixes.
Never underestimate how much it can mean just to check in with someone or help them out with something.
When it comes to contributing to the lives of strangers, volunteer work is an obvious and effective way to generate positivity by giving back to the world. This might involve working in a shelter for a few hours a week or joining a helpline. When time constraints make this difficult, giving to charity also boosts the amount of positivity in your life and in the wider world.

The Power Of Reading

Many of us grow out of reading once we get out of the habit of studying, but if you want to create a positive mindset then reading can really help. As well as boosting mind power by improving your vocabulary and building your knowledge, reading can create psychological growth in a number of ways.
For one thing, there are fascinating studies that show how reading can help us become more compassionate and empathetic. When we read, we often have to switch our perspective, and the better we get at doing this the more we are to relate to others – even those who are dramatically different from us.
There are even brain scans suggesting that when we read fiction in which characters go through certain experiences. Studies reveal that our brain display activity is similar to actual experiences in real life.
Does this affect our power of positive thinking? There are a couple of different connections between enhanced empathy and keeping a positive mindset. Firstly, if we’re more empathetic then we’re better at building good relationships that involve reciprocal support.
Secondly, empathy helps us develop a generally sympathetic worldview. Rather than seeing people as good or bad, we see them as products of their environments and experience.
Setting empathy aside, another reason why reading holds immense power is that it exposes you to new ideas. Reading prompts you to challenge things you may otherwise have taken for granted. This helps you to reexamine and replace old beliefs that are no longer serving you and inspires you to make changes.
Finally, reading other people’s success stories both shows you how to be successful and reminds you that anything is possible. Try reading a short success story each week for a month, and notice any changes in your mindset.

The Power Of Choice

When you’re developing habits that encourage you to focus on the positive, it’s vital to remember that you have total control over whether you succeed. For example, some people occupy a “victim mindset”, telling themselves that they merely respond to circumstances and don’t have any choice in what happens to them.
In contrast, if you choose a “creator mindset”, you view yourself as the architect of your own life. You get to choose what it looks like, and what you attract into it.
Successful people sometimes talk about a “growth mindset”, which means adopting the view that you want to evolve and improve. This requires moving away from your comfort zone. Moving to a place that feels good in the short-term but stifles you in the longer term. Growth can be scary and exciting, as well as give you a sense of becoming who you’re meant to be.
When you combine the creator mindset together with the growth mindset, you get an approach to life that fosters consistent positivity. We all encounter negative or challenging situations, but we can choose to take an optimistic viewpoint. We can choose to look for the useful lessons, and for the opportunities for development.
At first, this may require conscious effort. For example, you might try generating a mind map with the problem in the center and positive ideas surrounding it. If you do this often enough, it will become second nature to read challenges in a positive way, and you’ll do it much more quickly.
As a bonus, when you tap into the power of choice and pick optimism over pessimism, you will soon notice that your stress levels massively decrease. There are even studies suggesting that those who take this approach heal more quickly and have better overall health.

The Power Of Experience

Gratitude is a powerful emotion, and any habits that cultivate it also help to create a positive mind. When you think of gratitude, you might immediately focus on the biggest achievements and positive experiences in your life – for example, promotions, qualifications, weddings and births.
Often, we take much of our lives for granted, overlooking the fact that there are so many more reasons for gratitude. However, if we harness the power of experience with the power of positive thinking, we begin to see the incredible things that happen every day.
A gratitude journal is one of the most effective ways to make the most of the power of experience. Get yourself a notebook or a create a document. Enter sources of positivity on a daily basis and reflect on feeling grateful for these things.
The aim is to focus on the positive everyday. Rather than just focus on the big things, you’ll see that most of your days are ultimately very positive. For example, you might include something beautiful that you saw, a moment of kindness that you experienced, something that made you laugh, or some precious time you took to relax.
When working a positive mindset, it’s also crucial that you make room to be grateful for yourself. So, when you write in your gratitude journal, challenge yourself to include at least one entry that’s just about you.
This might be something big that you have done, felt or contributed. On other days, you might just be grateful for your health, or for a feature or skill that helps you feel confident. The key idea here is just to develop another habit that encourages self-directed positivity.
Your power of positive thinking will uplevel when you make this a daily habit.
Want to explore this further? Here are 10 gratitude exercises.

The Power Of Tuning In

Finally, tuning in to your higher consciousness can make a massive difference to your ability to create positive thoughts. What this means is just getting to know yourself on a deeper level. You can practice techniques that tap into your subconscious mind as well as your conscious mind.
Some of the best positive thinking exercises focus on meditation and mindfulness, and you may already know how to do some of these. Even basic breathing exercises can induce calmness and receptivity.
For example, you might set aside ten minutes and try to focus on taking deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. This helps to settle the mind and get rid of extraneous thoughts that are clouding your thinking. It is natural to get distracted during an exercise like this, but try to let any random thoughts drift away rather than giving them much attention.
When you get used to meditation, you can try further techniques. One that you can try involves imagining yourself gradually filling with a golden light. Feel it start at your toes and working to the top of your head, warming you as it goes. Some people see it is a molten liquid, and others as simply a golden glow. When you open your eyes, you should feel optimistic, energized and positive.
On days when positive thinking is harder, you can also try a reverse technique to banish negativity, picturing it leaving your body in the form of a dark cloud. This technique is best followed by the one above, which will help you to replace any negativity with positivity.
With all of this now planted in your mind, you now have the ability to tap into the power of positive thinking to drastically enhance your life. If you know someone who would experience life-changing benefits should they embrace the power of positive thinking, please share this article.

Tuesday, 19 May 2020

How Are You Coping As Lockdown Restrictions Ease?

How have you found these past few weeks of lockdown? It may be that the weeks have seemed like a lifetime and many of us have been finding the loneliness and isolation a real struggle.
Without our normal daily distractions we may have started to realise that we live quite an isolated way of life, going to work then home, perhaps looking after children, maintaining our homes, maybe running a homebased business. Omit human interaction and socialising and it can be quite a lonely way of life.
It's only when something like a global pandemic occurs that we realise how important the incidentials like office banter, coffee mornings, gyms and quiz nights really are. They're not just places we pass through; they provide opportunities to catch up, socialise, discuss problems and enhance relationships.
Now that those restrictions are easing how are you coping with lockdown? Are you ready to revert back to 'normal' or do you need a little time to decide what you want, to readjust and regain your trust in the outside world?
At a time like this it's important to look after yourself, your mental health and do things that invest in a positive mindset, support your wellbeing and make you feel good.
- How comfortable is your home? As we've been spending more time there it's important to continue ensuring that it's a welcome place to return to. We may have used the time well and expended effort in tidying, cleaning and maybe introducing some brightness and colour by way of fabrics or pictures on the walls. All ways that have made your home feel good to come back to. Fresh bedding or a relaxing bath rather than a shower can be ways to treat yourself with more kindness. It's still tough at the moment, so be gentle with yourself. parents or children can become a little fraught if there's no respite and still no clear end to lockdown in sight.
- How have your relationships been at home? Living in each other's pockets, being full-on with a partner, Good manners, consideration and a sense of humour are especially important during these exceptional times. Continue planning constructive ways to spend your time together. Even if you're tired and don't particularly feel like making an effort, remember, home is not only about you. Maybe get the board games out, kick a ball around outside, revisit your music collection or old photograph albums. You may find these times become treasured moments where you enhance your family connection.
- Pay especial attention to mealtimes. Rather than simply grab food on the go or eat whatever's around, instead commit to making more of a feature of your meals, as they may well be the most important part of each day. Ensure that you're eating enjoyable, healthy, nutritious food and look after yourself. And these good habits can continue long after lockdown is over.
- Be wary of drowning your sorrows! Alcohol is actually a depressant and when we overindulge we consume an excess of toxins, hence becoming intoxicated. This then requires our body to work extra hard to clear those toxins out, so causing dehydration, headaches and low mood.
- Have you internet access? Keeping in touch with colleagues, family, friends and social groups online can be a great way of maintaining connections, discussing concerns and minimising loneliness. Many people enjoy skype and zoom calls, sharing photos, tips, support and advice, all valuable ways to feel less alone, especially in lockdown. And it's interesting to see how successful some people have become when they've moved their business to an online offering. Workshops, classes, delicious foods and clothing have adapted well to a home-delivery service.
- Plan for your down time. If you live alone, still plan your reading and TV viewing in advance. It's good to have something to look forward to. Make the most of an evening phone call by settling down with a brew for a leisurely chat with a friend. Treat yourself extra well; those little touches can make all the difference to how well you cope.
- Keeping a journal might be another way to find comfort and support. Record how you're feeling, the thoughts you're experiencing. Note a daily success or achievement and start to remind yourself of your value, worth and accomplishments. Focus on the good things you encounter, the beautiful sunrise, an unexpected kindness and stop discounting or taking these things for granted. It can take a little discipline to incorporate this routine into your daily life, but your journal may gradually start to include photos, pictures and other mementoes, so becoming a friend and making the entries more special.
Remember that everyone's been touched by this unprecedented pandemic. No one's been exempt. Whilst some will been more affected by it than others it's important to be kind both to yourself and to those in your life. Be mutually supportive and as we come out of lockdown appreciate what really matters to you. These tough times can bring with them great insights and inner peace.
Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.
She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.
To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net


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