Showing posts with label experience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label experience. Show all posts

Thursday, 4 June 2020

Do You Believe That You Need To Hide Your True-Self In Order To Survive?

You may find that when you are around others, you don't always show up. In fact, this could be something that more or less always takes place when you spend time with others.

This could be how you have been for as long as you can remember. If you have only just started to become aware of this, it could show that something significant happened to you and this caused you to take a step and to reflect.

The Experience

So, when you are around others, it will mean that you will typically lose touch with your needs and feelings. As a result of this, you will lose touch with yourself and become who other people want you to be - or who you think they want you to be.

The real you will be hidden behind the mask that you wear, which will stop your true-self form being able to see the light of day. Physically, you will show up, but your emotional self won't, causing you to feel disconnected in the process.

Unknown

Most, if not all, of the people in your life and then not going to spend time with the real you; they will spend time with a version of you that has been heavily watered down. They probably won't realise this, however, as the version of you that shows up could just be seen as who you are.

When you are by yourself you might experience a sense of relief, with this being a time when you can embrace who you really are. You won't feel the need to put on an act and it could be as though a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

Drawing the Line

What is likely is that you have had enough of hiding yourself around others and want to finally reveal who you are. Living in this way is going to be anything but fulfilling, and you may be used to feeling powerless and even depressed.

The first step could be for you to think about when you first started to hide yourself. What you may find is that this was something that first took place during your childhood years.

The Foundations Were Laid

Due to what was taking place during this time, you may have come to believe that it wasn't safe for you to reveal your true-self. Therefore, in order for you to survive, you had to lose touch with yourself.

Most likely, this would have been something that just happened as opposed to something that you consciously chose to do. The part of you that is concerned with your survival would have seen this as the best way for you to stay alive.

Shining the Light

Now, although this belief may have been an accurate reflection of what was taking place all those years ago, it is no longer accurate. It is just a belief and that means that it is not the truth.

Thanks to this belief, revealing your true-self who you are will be seen as something that would cause you to die. Additionally, you could believe that there is something inherently wrong with your true-self and you could be carrying trauma from this time in your life.

How Can I Serve You?

The key will be for you to bring the limiting beliefs that are holding you back into the light so that they no longer define your life. If you can relate to what I have written and need additional support, one of the ways that I can provide this is through the personalised consultations that I offer via Skype or Zoom.

To find out more, please go to http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/consultations. If you are committed to your own healing, it would be an honour to assist you on your journey.

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, four hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Oliver_JR_Cooper/818466


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Tuesday, 26 May 2020

Learning Life's Lessons: When, How, Why

One of the most important life lessons we need to learn is Forgiveness. Conveniently, we are presented with many opportunities to learn that during our lifetime. And stupidly, we almost never learn this lesson soon enough so we can enjoy the rest of life and live happily. We somehow mistakenly think that by forgiving we are doing someone else a favor. In reality, by not forgiving we drink our own poison waiting for someone else to die.
But why? What is wrong with us? Why can't we simply forgive and move on? Why can't we choose happiness over suffering? Quite simply because we want to be right! Effectively, we choose righteousness, any time any day. We'd rather be right than happy.
The thing is, very earlier on we humans develop an ego which sees the world from the perspective of duality. Consequently, the ego becomes a judge. Things are good and bad. They are right and wrong. They are black and white... Now we have a wonderful sense of justice. We dish out judgements left, right and center. This is fair and that isn't. This is appropriate, that isn't... Of course, these are simply subjective opinions based on separation and duality. They are part of the big illusion that our ego supports and bring on huge suffering. But interestingly enough, the ego becomes addicted to this suffering; it starts to indulge the role of the victim. And it does so happily because there is a big pay off in this - the world's injustice and unfairness turns into the biggest and most convenient excuse for everything in life. We are always right, it is never our fault, life and people are just so unfair, hurtful and insensitive. We are the legitimate victim. Granted, we suffer in the process. But oh! It feels so good to be right! It is our right to be right!! And to have an excuse for everything.
Now, you may think that this doesn't apply to you; that you are inclusive, tolerant, patient, compassionate, sweet and forgiving; that you never assert yourself and your right to be right. To test this theory, ask yourself this: Are you experiencing any conflict or stress in your life? Are any of your parents, children, colleagues, friends, exes or current partner pissing you off? Do you get anxious or (passive) aggressive? If you feel conflicted in any way, it is because you feel right and you haven't mastered Forgiveness.
All right, the next question you need to ask yourself is whether you are learning anything while you are feeding the righteous monster inside you. How is this righteousness working out for you? If you are happy, keep doing what you are doing. If you are unhappy and you have had enough of that, time to learn the biggest and most important lesson in life: give up the right to be right (otherwise known as Forgiveness). The sooner you learn this lesson, the happier the rest of your life will be. Conversely, the longer you take to get this, the more "unfair" life circumstances you will encounter so you can learn Forgiveness and move on. The choice is yours. You can suck it up now, forgive and be happy. Or you can continue to feel right and keep increasing your bitterness for as long as you wish. It is actually not a must to learn the lesson of Forgiveness during your life time. You can just as well die bitter and resentful and the Universe has no problem with that (you yourself might, though).
Still not sure? OK, let's look in more detail at the learning curve for the lesson of Forgiveness and its implications. Imagine is a little baby boy. That boy already came with a script, a movie of sorts that he is going to star in during his lifetime and observe at the same time. The movie has already been shot but the boy is yet to extract the morale (the lessons) of the story, the biggest one of which is Forgiveness. To trigger the learning, the script contains scenes of seemingly unjust events: the parents leave the baby alone and he "accidentally" burns a finger on the stove now sporting a scar for life; later on a school teacher accuses him "unfairly" of cheating on an exam and gives him a lower mark than "deserved"; a wife divorces him and "robs" him of most of his possessions... What does our man do? Is he going to be bitter, resentful, play the victim role blaming life's circumstances for his misfortune? Or is he going to be forgiving and live life happily? More importantly, if all of the "unfair" events are on the script, at what point is our man going to learn to forgive and how could that possibly affect the script? We say we are going to attract the same experiences until lessons are learnt. If the boy forgives the teacher for underscoring him, would that prevent the impending unfair divorce?
Actually, learning a lesson doesn't really change the script. It simply alters your experience of it. Hence, the urgency to learn said lesson. All major happenings are already in the movie. For how long they will seem unfair to you (and trigger misery and unhappiness) depends on your observational skills, on your ability to remove yourself from the movie, see things from a neutral point of view and forgive. If you do that in third grace, the rest of the events in your life won't bother you. You won't look at them as something unfair. You won't take life personally. So an "unfair" divorce won't be experienced as a disaster. More likely, you will see an opportunity for growth there pretty quickly - here you are giving most of your possessions to your ex, wow, what a blessing for you to practice detachment and thus initiate happiness from within. Getting rid of what you already have amassed is an excellent opportunity to make room for something new (and better).
However, if you didn't learn forgiveness in third grade, you will have many other opportunities to do so - your movie is full of events that you will continue to observe as unfair until you change your point of view and start seeing them as neutral. The movie is indeed neutral. You are coloring it with your attitude as an observer. Learn to observe neutrally and you will have learnt everything you need to learn.
Importantly, learning is optional and it is up to you to effectuate it. You choose when to snap out of your righteousness. In doing so you won't avoid life's challenging circumstances but you will spare yourself the suffering. Alternatively, you stay the offended observer of your own movie and you sulk until the end. The choice is yours. Things won't change but you certainly can. Remember: pain is inevitable, suffering - optional. You can stop suffering now, all you need to do is forgive.
Vyara Bridgeman is an Advanced Certified BodyTalk practitioner who works with patients from all over the world suffering a variety of physical, mental and emotional conditions. To find out more about Vyara's BodyTalk practice, what her clients say about her, and how she can help you achieve a balanced body-mind, visit: http://www.BodyTalk4Life.com
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Saturday, 23 May 2020

The Power Of Positive Thinking: 7 Mindful Habits For Creating Positive Thoughts

The power of positive thinking is one of the major habits of successful people. When you practice positive thinking, you become better at setting the right goals, and better at achieving them. The benefits don’t stop there – positivity boosts your mental and physical health, changing the way you interact with others.

However, even if you know all this, it can be tricky to change entrenched patterns of negative thinking. Becoming a positive person can seem challenging – perhaps you’ve wondered if you’re just immune to the power of positive thinking.
The good news is, you have a choice. You can embrace the power of positive thinking as it’s available for everyone to lear. As long as you have the right attitude and the right tools.
Here are 7 mindful habits that are proven to create positive thoughts that provide you concrete techniques to practice.  Including how to develop new habits that last, so you begin to see a difference in your everyday life.

Power Of Positive Thinking Warning: Positive Vibes Only

Before we go any further, it’s important to note that this guide is a positive vibes only zone. We won’t be dwelling on the difficulties of your past, on the things that have held you back, or on the words of that inner critical voice that brings you down.
Instead, we’ll be looking at the issue of the power of positive thinking in a productive, constructive and proactive way.
Perhaps you’re reading this disclaimer and feeling skeptical. However, if you follow this lead, you’ll soon start to see that maintaining positive vibes really isn’t as difficult as it might sound. With some effort, determination and practice, you can create the sorts of mindful attitudes that all but eliminate negativity from your life.
If you feel you’re not the most positive of people, this can change. Once you tap into your power of positivity thinking, you’ll be surprised by just how many other things start to change in and around you.
As the Law of Attraction tells us, like attracts like. This means that the more positive you are, the more you pull positive people, opportunities and choices into your orbit. You begin to vibrate on a frequency of abundance. The abundance in your life only makes you feel more positive. Conceptualized in this way, there’s no limit to how happy you can be, or how much goodness you can attract.
So, to emphasize again, it’s positive vibes only from here on in. Now, let’s move on to explore some concrete facts about the ways in which consistent, sustained positivity can enhance your life in tangible ways.

Think Positive, Be Positive: What Happens?

  • Cope with stress faster and more effectively – instead of dwelling on the negative, positive people look for solutions. And when we find solutions, stress starts to dissipate.
  • Improved health – there’s evidence that positive thoughts boost resistance to disease and improves the ability to recover from health setbacks.
  • Better relationships with people – we’re all drawn to positive people, so being positive brings more people into our lives. With a positive attitude, we’re also better at communication and negotiation.
  • Become more focused – with the power of positivity thinking, you’re driven to achieve the things that matter to you. You can tune out the noise, and ‘tune in’ to what needs to be done.
  • Feel more confidence – positivity extends to your view of yourself and your value, boosting your self-worth. The more positive you are, the more you believe in your own potential and give yourself opportunities to fulfill it.
  • Be more successful – as a positive person, you not only attract success through the Law of Attraction but are also better at networking and at inspiring others.
  • Experience more happiness – it stands to reason that being positive brings you joy, optimism and satisfaction. When you have a positive mindset, you notice and appreciate the beautiful things in life.

Quotes About Positive Thinking

Positive mindset quotes and quotes about positive thinking and can help you get a better sense of what it’s like, inspiring you to change. Here are some of the best – you may want to come back to these when we discuss making affirmations below.
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.
~ Mary Englebreit
The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.
~ Winston Churchill
If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
~ Jane Travis

How To Stay Positive? Use The Power Of Positive Thinking

Now that you’ve built a deeper understanding of why and how thinking positive can completely transform your life, it’s time to delve into how you can become a more positive person.
Yes, most of us can talk ourselves into a positive thought or feeling, but it is far-reaching, sustained change that really makes the difference. This means it’s important to focus on how to stay positive in all areas of your life.
There are at least seven habits that are proven to help you tap into your power of positive thinking, and we’ll explain how you can develop these habits for yourself, starting today. Throughout, we’ll offer techniques and suggestions that will help you see the many different ways that you might begin to behave differently.
Each of the seven habits that we’ll discuss can be realized through a range of approaches, and it’s important to find ones that fit with your unique goals, values and personality.

The Power Of The People You Surround Yourself With

While we can influence others to change they can also influence us. The phrase “the people you surround yourself with, you become” nicely captures just how important our social circle can be. So, to become more positive (and stay that way), focus on building connections with people who are good at sending positive vibes.
If you ever ask yourself “How can I surround myself with successful people?”, know that the first step is to nurture your existing relationships with people are good at achieving their goals. They may have different passions and work in different fields, but if they are positive and successful then you can become more like them just by being around them.
Once again, like attracts like. The more time you spend with successful people, the more you’ll find yourself meeting new people who inspire and motivate you to succeed. This will enhance your power of positive thinking 10x!
In addition, try to think about success in a really broad way. While you can certainly benefit from surrounding yourself with people who have fulfilling jobs and great salaries, it’s easier to stay positive if you look beyond the workplace. For example, you should also surround yourself with people who have thriving love lives and who devote time to personal growth.
One of the easiest ways to work out who you want to surround yourself – and therefore who you want to become – is to do an exercise where you think about your ideal role model. What traits do they have? What are they good at, and how do they act? This gives you a concrete sense of the types of people you should aim to spend more time with if you want to develop and sustain a positive mindset.

The Power Of Words

The words you choose also play a dramatic role in being positive. Your language affects your view of yourself, your capabilities and your expectations. Success habits require you to be realistic and yet confident, pushing you to be the best you can be. Consequently, people who attract success learn how to refine their language, stripping it of negativity. But what are the most effective ways to tap into the power of words?
Firstly, make a habit of paying more attention to your word choice. For example, you might set a particular time span (e.g. a couple of hours or a day) and then make some notes about which words made you feel empowered and positive.
In contrast, When you notice ways of speaking that don’t help you build on positivity, think about how can change things up. Look to replace words like “can’t,” “never” and “shouldn’t” with aspirational words that describe the life you want to create.
Secondly, designing and reciting affirmations is a powerful way to use words in service of positivity. Affirmations are just statements that you say to yourself in order to support your goals. You can use ones that directly discuss positivity, like the following:
  • “I become more positive each day.”
  • “I am happy, confident and see the best in others.”
  • “I am positive and I attract positivity into my life.”
You can also use affirmations that implicitly reinforce your power of positive thinking towards specific goals in your life. For example:
  • “I have all the qualities I need to be incredibly successful.”
  • “Every day I move closer to the job of my dreams.”
  • “I attract love into my life and give it back to the world.”
There are dozens of ways for writing affirmations. What matters is that they make you feel good and that they capture what you want to achieve.

The Power Of Contribution

The next major contributor to maintaining a positive mindset revolves around the idea of contribution. The Law of Attraction is magnetic, and so what you put out is what you get back. If you look at how you can make the world a happier place, the universe will ensure that your generosity and compassion makes its way back to you as well.
Plus, combined with the power of positive thinking, studies on the power of kindness show that when we’re kind, we end up feeling happier and our stress levels lower. This has a direct and immediate impact on our ability to think positively.
To access the power of contribution, start by asking yourself how you’re currently contributing to the world. Try to think of at least 5 things you’re doing for others, and consider which are more effective. Next, try to generate at least 5 further ideas for ways in which you might give more to others.
There are dozens of things you can do to contribute. Ssome of which are personal and others which promote happiness in strangers. To contribute to people already in your life, think about chores you might be able to do in times of hardship. You can even take care to really listen to people’s problems without judging or trying to offer quick fixes.
Never underestimate how much it can mean just to check in with someone or help them out with something.
When it comes to contributing to the lives of strangers, volunteer work is an obvious and effective way to generate positivity by giving back to the world. This might involve working in a shelter for a few hours a week or joining a helpline. When time constraints make this difficult, giving to charity also boosts the amount of positivity in your life and in the wider world.

The Power Of Reading

Many of us grow out of reading once we get out of the habit of studying, but if you want to create a positive mindset then reading can really help. As well as boosting mind power by improving your vocabulary and building your knowledge, reading can create psychological growth in a number of ways.
For one thing, there are fascinating studies that show how reading can help us become more compassionate and empathetic. When we read, we often have to switch our perspective, and the better we get at doing this the more we are to relate to others – even those who are dramatically different from us.
There are even brain scans suggesting that when we read fiction in which characters go through certain experiences. Studies reveal that our brain display activity is similar to actual experiences in real life.
Does this affect our power of positive thinking? There are a couple of different connections between enhanced empathy and keeping a positive mindset. Firstly, if we’re more empathetic then we’re better at building good relationships that involve reciprocal support.
Secondly, empathy helps us develop a generally sympathetic worldview. Rather than seeing people as good or bad, we see them as products of their environments and experience.
Setting empathy aside, another reason why reading holds immense power is that it exposes you to new ideas. Reading prompts you to challenge things you may otherwise have taken for granted. This helps you to reexamine and replace old beliefs that are no longer serving you and inspires you to make changes.
Finally, reading other people’s success stories both shows you how to be successful and reminds you that anything is possible. Try reading a short success story each week for a month, and notice any changes in your mindset.

The Power Of Choice

When you’re developing habits that encourage you to focus on the positive, it’s vital to remember that you have total control over whether you succeed. For example, some people occupy a “victim mindset”, telling themselves that they merely respond to circumstances and don’t have any choice in what happens to them.
In contrast, if you choose a “creator mindset”, you view yourself as the architect of your own life. You get to choose what it looks like, and what you attract into it.
Successful people sometimes talk about a “growth mindset”, which means adopting the view that you want to evolve and improve. This requires moving away from your comfort zone. Moving to a place that feels good in the short-term but stifles you in the longer term. Growth can be scary and exciting, as well as give you a sense of becoming who you’re meant to be.
When you combine the creator mindset together with the growth mindset, you get an approach to life that fosters consistent positivity. We all encounter negative or challenging situations, but we can choose to take an optimistic viewpoint. We can choose to look for the useful lessons, and for the opportunities for development.
At first, this may require conscious effort. For example, you might try generating a mind map with the problem in the center and positive ideas surrounding it. If you do this often enough, it will become second nature to read challenges in a positive way, and you’ll do it much more quickly.
As a bonus, when you tap into the power of choice and pick optimism over pessimism, you will soon notice that your stress levels massively decrease. There are even studies suggesting that those who take this approach heal more quickly and have better overall health.

The Power Of Experience

Gratitude is a powerful emotion, and any habits that cultivate it also help to create a positive mind. When you think of gratitude, you might immediately focus on the biggest achievements and positive experiences in your life – for example, promotions, qualifications, weddings and births.
Often, we take much of our lives for granted, overlooking the fact that there are so many more reasons for gratitude. However, if we harness the power of experience with the power of positive thinking, we begin to see the incredible things that happen every day.
A gratitude journal is one of the most effective ways to make the most of the power of experience. Get yourself a notebook or a create a document. Enter sources of positivity on a daily basis and reflect on feeling grateful for these things.
The aim is to focus on the positive everyday. Rather than just focus on the big things, you’ll see that most of your days are ultimately very positive. For example, you might include something beautiful that you saw, a moment of kindness that you experienced, something that made you laugh, or some precious time you took to relax.
When working a positive mindset, it’s also crucial that you make room to be grateful for yourself. So, when you write in your gratitude journal, challenge yourself to include at least one entry that’s just about you.
This might be something big that you have done, felt or contributed. On other days, you might just be grateful for your health, or for a feature or skill that helps you feel confident. The key idea here is just to develop another habit that encourages self-directed positivity.
Your power of positive thinking will uplevel when you make this a daily habit.
Want to explore this further? Here are 10 gratitude exercises.

The Power Of Tuning In

Finally, tuning in to your higher consciousness can make a massive difference to your ability to create positive thoughts. What this means is just getting to know yourself on a deeper level. You can practice techniques that tap into your subconscious mind as well as your conscious mind.
Some of the best positive thinking exercises focus on meditation and mindfulness, and you may already know how to do some of these. Even basic breathing exercises can induce calmness and receptivity.
For example, you might set aside ten minutes and try to focus on taking deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. This helps to settle the mind and get rid of extraneous thoughts that are clouding your thinking. It is natural to get distracted during an exercise like this, but try to let any random thoughts drift away rather than giving them much attention.
When you get used to meditation, you can try further techniques. One that you can try involves imagining yourself gradually filling with a golden light. Feel it start at your toes and working to the top of your head, warming you as it goes. Some people see it is a molten liquid, and others as simply a golden glow. When you open your eyes, you should feel optimistic, energized and positive.
On days when positive thinking is harder, you can also try a reverse technique to banish negativity, picturing it leaving your body in the form of a dark cloud. This technique is best followed by the one above, which will help you to replace any negativity with positivity.
With all of this now planted in your mind, you now have the ability to tap into the power of positive thinking to drastically enhance your life. If you know someone who would experience life-changing benefits should they embrace the power of positive thinking, please share this article.