OPRAH WINFREY | Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Circumstances!

Sometimes You've Just Got to Say 'No'

Many people find that it's their automatic default to say 'yes' whenever something is asked of them. They may have learned to respond without even thinking about it, maybe regard others' needs as more important than their own or don't want to cause disappointment, offence or appear 'difficult' by declining. Saying 'yes' can be a positive trait that opens new doors and experiences. It can be a significant investment in our relationships, but used too often or without due consideration can also lead to overwhelm, frustration and resentment.

Let's look at why sometimes you've just got to say 'no';

- At times it can become apparent that we need to re-define the boundaries of our relationships and remind/reinstate the parameters of what's appropriate and acceptable. Over time we may have ended up doing things out of habit or by default. That's not always the best or most respectful way to live. From now let's decide to be clearer about our roles and check whether the things we accept or agree to are still okay for us. Saying 'no' can be an important part of reclaiming our self-respect.

- Personal time and space is integral to good self-care. Don't underestimate the role of some me-time. Just because you're free and don't have an important task or commitment at the moment means you should feel guilty or allow others to encroach on that time. If you had an appointment with an important client it's hard to imagine that you'd let something distract you from honouring it. So, put yourself in your diary and say 'no' to cancelling, unless a real emergency crops up. Commit to regular time for yourself.

- Sometimes saying 'no' can be a way of letting others know how much you do, what else you've got on, that you're too busy to take on any more. They perhaps don't appreciate the extent of your responsibilities and commitments, how time-consuming they are and may well back off once you've explained firmly and politely. If you always say 'yes' they may think you don't mind, are happy to be the 'go to guy'. And it may be that it's only upon reflection, that you start to appreciate how much you actually do, automatically, without a second thought.

- Don't forget too that boredom is often underrated. We may feel obligated to fill every moment with meaningful activity, with chores, catching up with people, self-improvement. There's often a list of things we could/should/ought to be doing, but doing nothing is fine occasionally. It lets our minds and bodies calm down and be still. It teaches us about the importance of silence and inactivity, about switching off our 'I'm ready, bring it on' adrenalin. Children often learn a lot when they're bored. All too often they have technology, films and adults desperate to provide constant stimulus and amusement, but children, when left to their own devices, are often ingenious at using their imaginations and amusing themselves. That skill needs to be encouraged.

- Find acceptable ways of saying 'no', that you're comfortable with. Anger and outrage can flare if we feel we're under pressure to do more, always say 'yes', but that extreme reaction is often unnecessary. Saying, 'it's not a good time for me', or 'I'm busy, already doing x and y' may be enough to placate the situation, inform others of things you're already doing and encourage them to respect you and your time more.

- Then there are those of us who say 'yes' so frequently to invitations that we forget which concerts, events, parties we've actually been to! Saying 'yes' too often can turn special moments into a half-remembered blur. A bit like testing too many perfumes, we become numb and unable to fully appreciate each experience.

Saying 'yes' is important. It gets us out of our comfort zone, keeps us alert and receptive to new experiences and opportunities. And often when we say 'yes' and commit to seemingly impossible opportunities or agree to things we don't want to do, we can be pleasantly surprised at how well they turn out. But equally, we need to be ready to say 'no' if we feel overloaded, trapped, taken for granted or not properly equipped to do a good job. Used well, both yes and no can serve positive roles in our lives.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

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Yoga For Complete Beginners - 20 Minute Home Yoga Workout!

Tony Robbins on How to Break Your Negative Thinking

Emotional Freedom Through Yoga

When the weather and seasons change, we often feel our bodies respond. When it's colder outside, we feel more contained and stiff. When it's warmer, we feel open and supple. But during this transition period, where they may be more rain or flowers blooming, there may be energy and emotions stuck in the heart and the hips that need to move out and around! All you need is a yoga mat, bolsters, and a yoga belt to get yourself on the way to spring cleaning yourself out.

Our hearts are the emotional center of love, joy, gratitude, and peace. However, when we suppress our emotions, they often get stuck down in the hips. And when we go to our yoga mat- we feel it! Here are two poses you can try to get yourself emotionally free today.

Gomukhasana / Cow Face Pose

Here, we will open the hips and the heart together. Start by tucking your left leg underneath your right so the knees are squeezed tightly together in front of you. If this is uncomfortable, simply cross your legs or stack your hips up on a bolster.

Root your sitting bones down into the ground and then reach your right arm up and left your arm back. Reach for the hands behind you or clasp onto your belt for assistance. Take 5 deep breaths here and then fold forward and hold for another 5-10 breaths. Slowly release and either move onto the next pose or practice the other side.

Restorative Pigeon Pose / Eka Pada Raja Kapotasana

Transitioning from Gomukhasana, swing the right leg back and shift the hips so they are square to the front. Make sure the front leg is externally rotated so the knee points toward the front left corner of your mat. For a deep, supportive variation, place a bolster underneath your hips and one in front of you.

Straighten out your back leg and lengthen your spine on an inhale. As you exhale, slowly fold forward. Drape your torso and head over the bolster and give it a nice hug. Exhale all of your stress and old, toxic thoughts and feelings away. Breathe deeply into your hips. Allow yourself to sink and surrender into this supported pigeon pose. Stay for 2 minutes.

Active Pigeon Pose

If you desire a more dynamic practice of pigeon pose, try the full variation. You can still use a bolster for support under the hips if needed. Set the legs up in the same position. This time, keep the torso upright and reach back for your right foot with your right hand. Rotate the arm so that you point the elbow up to the sky and bring the foot closer to your head, eventually reaching back with the other arm.

If this feels out of reach, use one of our yoga belts! Loops the yoga belt around your foot and work on flipping your grip and rotating your arm. Slowly and surely, over time with practice, the belt will make this advanced posture more accessible. The beauty of using props is they can make any pose accessible to anyone!

https://www.yoga-king.com/

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Never Too Far Down | You Can't Stop Us | Nike

What is the Key for Daily Happiness?

Everyone prefers to be happy rather than being unhappy, sad or miserable. And there come numerous occasions in our life when we feel happy. However, all too often this sense of joy fleets as we encounter another challenge in life through unfolding circumstances. The key question, therefore, is how can we daily remain happy despite what happens around us?

Being happy does not mean you have to be cheerful and smiling all the time. 

Happiness is an overall feeling of satisfaction and contentment with your life from within. It is a state where you feel calm, peace and contented. To be able to experience an inner sense of serenity and bliss, the key lies in the way we perceive life and our mindset. In turn, this alters our behaviour and our speech towards others and reinforces this sense of calm.

Keys to daily happiness

●Maintain an obliging nature – help others especially the old and the sick. For example, you could go to the pharmacy for them, run errands, basically provide support for them in whatever way possible.

●Start off the day by remaining and feeling positive – every time you have a bad thought, replace it with five good thoughts. Meditate introspectively on your thoughts, and see how many negative thoughts you have just in one day. Once you do this, you will understand the impact that this kind of thinking has on you, your well-being and on others!

●Internal suffering and misery are brought on by emotions of anger, pride, greed and deceit. These emotions are the very cause of our pain and suffering, so beware of them and do not allow them to linger.

●Spiritual science explains if you cause hurt to anyone through your thoughts, your actions or with your words, you will also in turn get hurt. Therefore, have the intent that you do not want to cause harm to any living being through your mind, speech and body.

●Sometimes you inadvertently hurt someone - even when you have no intention of doing so! If this happens, ask for forgiveness from them – you can do this internally speaking to their soul - rather than face to face. When you repent, any pain that you have caused to others will get washed off and you will feel lighter and the positive vibrations of your intentions will reach them too. And remember, when you have a bad intention these vibrations reach them too!

●If you want to feel happy then make others happy! This is a simple but extremely powerful statement. You must have experienced the joy when you have put someone else’s happiness above your own. For example, when you have supported someone who is struggling at school or at work, how did it feel at that time? It is like when you smile at someone, the likelihood is that they will smile back.

●Having an open mind and a willingness to adjust to situations and the people around us, we can make a huge difference to the way we feel; and it has a great positive impact on those whom we interact with too.

●A balanced life is a very important factor in how you feel: so, eat healthy, take good sleep, be physically active and try to avoid bad sedentary habits. Basically, maintain normality in everything that you do in life.

Mostly, having the awareness of how we are feeling is the key! There may be times when we may not know the reason or cause behind our unhappiness but subconsciously we feel low! However, through mindfulness, we can certainly alter our life to help bring daily happiness in it.

To know more please visit: https://www.dadabhagwan.org/discover-happiness/

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The Only Way to Feel Good

"Even if I am locked in a prison cell and hated by the entire world, my spirit can still be that of a king." - Daisaku Ikeda

It seems too simple, I know. It's so simple that we want to make it more difficult, more esoteric. However, the simple truth is that the only way to feel good is to think thoughts that feel good.

Likewise, the only way to feel bad is to think thoughts that feel bad. It really is that straightforward.

Because our thoughts produce our feelings, what we choose to think determines how we feel. Please notice it's what we choose to think. Sometimes it doesn't feel like we're choosing our thoughts because negative momentum appears to be choosing our thoughts for us.

Negative momentum may at times feel like a runaway train. We may even be tempted to believe those negative thoughts. However, at any moment, we can consciously choose to think a thought that feels better. Even if we choose a thought that feels just a little bit better, we have stopped the negative momentum and we're re-focused in a more positive direction.

We often want to blame other people or external circumstances for our bad mood. We think, "if only he / she / it would change, I would feel good." Alas, it's up to us. And that is where our power lies.

We are guaranteed to feel bad if we think thoughts that feel bad. Likewise, we're guaranteed to feel good if we think good feeling thoughts.

Feeling good really is as easy as thinking thoughts that feel good [or a little bit better], focusing on things that are easy to appreciate and thinking of others who are easy to love. In this way, we begin climbing back up the emotional scale. Isn't it nice to know we have the power to choose how we feel!

Here's the process: We stay present and notice how we're feeling. When we notice we're not feeling the way we want to feel, we take that as information. Information - NOT that we've done something wrong or that we're in some way flawed - but information that we're thinking thoughts that don't serve us. Once we become aware of our negative thoughts, we can then begin choosing thoughts that feel better.

Some days it seems more difficult than others, but it's always the same process:

*Stay present and notice how you feel.

*Consciously choose thoughts that feel better.

*Voila, your vibration rises and you're a vibrational match to your desires!

It is simple and it does work, but it also takes practice. As we practice choosing thoughts that feel good and we get in the habit of feeling good, pretty soon feeling bad will be so unacceptable that, at the first hint of negative emotion, we'll nip it in the bud and get back to our natural state of well-being.

We all want to feel good and, thankfully, the Law of Attraction teaches us how to do that. We know how to feel good and we have the power to feel good. What could be better than that!

Kate Corbin is a Law of Attraction Coach and the creator of Gold Star Coaching. Both her coaching practice and her three eBooks - "Dining at the Cosmic Cafe, How to Be and Do and Have Whatever You Desire;" "Manifesting from the Inside Out with the Law of Attraction;" and "Think and Grow Thin with the Law of Attraction" - are designed to empower you to truly live the life of your dreams. To contact Kate and download a free copy of her eBook "Magical Musings on the LOA," visit Gold Star Coaching.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger This Speech Broke The Internet AND Most Inspiring Speech- It Changed My Life.

How Do I Commit TOTALLY to My Goals?

Commitment is one of the scariest words in any language. It has so much meaning, possibility, opportunity and responsibility wrapped up in those three little syllables. When we commit to something, we make a promise at least to ourselves and often to others. These promises are show that we are serious, driven and all in. We're giving 100% and holding nothing back. Too often though we act as if it's a donation. We treat what should be a serious, consuming desire as if we're dropping some coins in the Salvation Army bucket at Christmas time.

Don't understand why I'm making this point and distinction? Consider the old story about the hen and the pig.
Hen and Pig were talking about the farmer. They really loved the farmer because he took such good care of them. So Hen suggested they do something nice for the farmer. "How about we make him a breakfast of ham and eggs, Pig?" Pig pauses and looks at Hen. "Well, I don't know Hen. For you that's a donation. For me that's a lifetime commitment!"

That's how we need to treat our Goals. They need to be lifetime commitments, not donations. Lifetime commitments drive us. They shape our thoughts. They focus our efforts and attention like nothing else. In many ways, though not all, Goals are like marriage. Both require a total commitment that permeates our entire being. They both require us to reshape our thoughts and actions so serve them.

Note well though. While your marriage should be more important than your Goals, your Goals should support your marriage. There should be no competition.

In marriage we commit totally to the other. We should hold nothing back. We give of ourselves without selfishness or resentment. We do whatever it takes to love our spouse daily.

In Goals we commit totally to the outcome. We hold nothing back in our pursuit of that outcome. We give of our time, talent and treasure without selfishness or resentment. We do whatever it takes to achieve those Goals.

Before you ask, of course I mean that our Goals have to be ordered to support and reinforce our Values. So "whatever it takes" in marriage and Goals does NOT mean something that violates our Values.

Our commitment to our Goals requires a similar relationship as a marriage. We have to be faithful to the Goal. We have to support the Goal. We have to put the Goal before for our selfish desires. Put another way, we have to chase one Goal, or one set of related Goals, only. We have to learn the skills and do the work required to move closer to our Goals. Finally we have to be willing to sacrifice to achieve our Goals.

Commitment means giving our Goals the same kind of attention and focus we give to our spouses. That's why commitment to our Goals is so difficult for some people. They either don't realize the level of seriousness Goals require, or they do and just can't make those kinds of promises.

Make those promises. Commit. Be the Pig.

Setting good goals is essential to your success. Everyone thinks they know how to set goals, but sometimes we don't know or remember some things. Visit http://5things.Success-Maniacs.com/ for a free report called 5 Things About Goal Setting You Need to Know Right Now.

Tim Johnson is a life-long student of self-development and leadership material. He's on a mission to teach as many people as he can to be successful in a moral and ethical way, consistent with their values, that can create positive change in themselves and everyone they meet.

To learn more about Tim's ideas on Success, go to http://www.Success-Maniacs.com to learn more.

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How to Be a Positive Person

I've been counseling using Positive Psychology for many years. Positive, happy people do have an easier time in life, and bounce back from problems faster. There are always things you can do to increase your level of optimism, even if you can't change who you are. Whether you realize it or not, you are responsible for lifting your own feelings and no one else is responsible for making you feel better.

To become more positive:

• Write down and visualize your goals: this programs your brain to help you find the positive steps you can take to meet your goals. It will alert your brain to notice things and events that are related to your goal. You will automatically be more aware of certain events, opportunities and people who can be helpful. You'll also be more clear about what you want, and this will sneak into your conversation and your general attitude, where others can pick up on it.

• Ask politely for what you want: The easiest way to get what you want is to make a pleasant request, and deliver it with a big smile and a warm look. Please is very important, and so is a gracious smile, eye contact, and a warm thank you when the request is met. If you make requests confidently, as if you expect to get a "yes," it ups the odds that you'll get one. "Please go to lunch with me" works better than "You wouldn't want to go to lunch, would you?"

• Dress as if you feel special, and act that way: The more you respect yourself, the more others will respect you. Make sure you present yourself well, dress and act the part.

• Accept favors, gifts and compliments gracefully, with thanks. Don't worry about whether you deserve the compliment: if someone says something nice, and you respond that you don't deserve it, you're effectively calling that person a liar; which is not charming at all. Gratitude for kindness begets more kindness. Nothing works better than a pleasant "thank you so much" to make the kind person feel appreciated, and wanting to give you more. You can also accept credit and still share credit with others: "Thank you so much; it was really Susan's idea." Accepts the compliment and shares the love.

• Practice a new situation before you do it: I recommend the "roll the tape" exercise: picture yourself taking some small risk, and watch the scene play out. "Re- roll the tape" several times, and go through the scene again. Practice some different responses and different approaches until you feel comfortable with it. Then, you can try it in the real world.

To enhance your positive experience, do the following steps before any new activity:

1. Make a mental note of the possibilities: Can you learn something there? Can you meet a new friend? Could it be fun? Will just getting out of the house and around new people feel good?

2. Remind yourself of your goals: You're going there to make new friends and to have fun or to learn.

3. Review your positive personal qualities: What do your friends like about you? What do you like about you? Your intelligence, your sense of humor, your style, your conversation skills? Are you a kind and caring person? Reminding yourself of these qualities means you will enter the event radiating that positive energy.

• Change your thinking: Everyone has running dialog in their heads, which can be negative and self-defeating, or positive and energizing. Your thoughts affect your mood, and how you relate to yourself can either lift or dampen your spirits. Neuronal activity in the brain activates hormones which are synonymous with feelings. One thing you can do is to monitor your self-talk: what do you say to yourself about the upcoming day, about mistakes, about your luck? If these messages are negative, changing them can indeed lift your spirits and your optimism. The good news is that you can choose to replace your negative monologue with something more positive.

Self-talk is the most powerful tool you have for turning your negative feelings to positive and your negative interactions with your partner to love. Your brain tends to repeat familiar things over and over, wearing the established neuronal pathways deeper and deeper. Repeating a mantra, an affirmation or a choice over and over creates new pathways, which eventually become automatic. The new thoughts will run through your head like the old thoughts did, or like a popular song you've heard over and over.

• Make the best of who you are: if you love silence, tend to be quiet, like quiet conversations and not big parties, this may be a genetic trait: your hearing, and nervous system may be more sensitive than someone else's, and this trait will not go away. You can, however, make the most of it, and learn that creating plenty of quiet in your life will make you a happier person. Quiet moments with your partner will be especially meaningful to you, and make you happy.

If, on the other hand, you're a party animal-social, enjoying noise and excitement, you can also use that as an asset. You will bring the party to your relationships and music and activity will lift your spirits.

• Take charge of your negative thoughts: (that's one thing totally in your control) and turn them around; argue with them, fight them off, wrestle with them. Put energy into it. Let go of whatever you can't control, such as other people, life's events, loss, disappointment. Stop trying to change what won't change, accept what is, let it be and live life as it is. Yes, I know it's easier said than done, but once you get a handle on it, life itself is easier. Fretting about what you can't control is an endless, useless waste of energy you can use elsewhere.

Here are some things you can try that will help in making you more positive:

• Make a note: Write positive comments to yourself on your daily calendar for jobs well done or any achievements you want to celebrate. Your partner will also appreciate little love notes or thank you notes left around to surprise and delight.

• Look to your childhood: Use activities that felt like a celebration in your childhood: did your family toast a celebration with champagne or sparkling cider, a special dessert, a gathering of friends, or a thankful prayer? Create a celebration environment: use balloons, music, flowers, candles, or set your table with the best china. Work with your partner to incorporate both of your childhood celebration elements.

• Use visible reminders: Surround yourself with visible evidence of your successes. Plant a commemorative rosebush or get a new houseplant to mark a job well done, or display photos of fun events, and sports or hobby trophies. It's a constant reminder that you appreciate yourself and your partner that you'll both feel daily.

• Reward yourself and your friends: Go out for ice cream, high five each other, toast with champagne or ginger ale in fancy glasses, take a day off for just the two of you, and party every chance you get.

• Try laughter: Find a way to laugh with your partner and others around you every day. Share jokes, funny memories, comedic movies and Internet jokes. It will lower your blood pressure, calm your pulse and generally help you release a lot of stress.

Gratitude

Gratitude is something that always helps remind us that life is not all bad. Every day I see the positive effects of getting my clients to focus on gratitude. The things we feel good about are easily taken for granted, so making sure you spend some of your time noticing what you're grateful for gives you a chance to register the good things in your life, reduce your stress and anxiety, and feel better about yourself, your relationship, and your life. While stress and anxiety cause the body to release adrenalin and testosterone, focusing on gratitude floods you with oxytocin, acetylcholine and other calming, relaxing agents. Hormones are emotions, emotions are hormones, so when you're flooded with happy hormones you'll feel good, and so will those around you.

• Daily thanks: Take some time each day to be thankful for each and every thing that comes your way. Do this silently, for yourself, not ostentatiously, to impress others. If you say a grace before meals, say it silently, and think about how fortunate you are. Hold hands with your partner or family and give thanks for your love.

• Keep a gratitude list: For one week, list every good thing that comes your way-a funny e-mail, a phone call, a business success, a loving gesture, or a sweet moment with your partner. At the end of the week, you'll be astounded at how much you receive.

• Thank your loved ones: Thanking your partner allows both of you to feel valued. Gratitude is powerful, and, used properly, a much greater motivator than demanding, criticizing, or nagging. Creative gratitude is the most powerful kind. It's easy to scope out what kind of thank you will be memorable for a particular person, when you're paying attention. Recognition is a powerful motivating factor, and a little gratitude can go a long way.

• Counter negative thoughts: Whenever a negative thought comes to mind, counter it by giving thanks for something that is good in your life. Change your focus from what's wrong to what is right.

• Count your blessings: Count everything you already have that you cherish. Consider beginning a gratitude journal, and noting all the positive things, beloved possessions, and tender moments you experience. Or, start a gratitude jar, and note down on scraps of paper all the positive things, beloved friends, favorite possessions, and tender moments you experience in your life and relationship, and store them in the jar. Then whenever you feel frustrated, down or discouraged, pull out a few papers and read them. You'll find that reminding yourself of all you have to be grateful for will cheer you up and help you remember that your life is a good one.

• Get to know yourself: Just checking in with yourself on a daily basis, knowing how you feel and what you think about whatever is going on in your life will make you happier, and reduce your stress. Being kind to yourself and having a good relationship with you will make all your relationships with other people go more smoothly. Whether you realize it or not, the relationship you have with yourself sets the pattern for how you connect with your partner. By developing a nurturing way to relate to yourself, you create a personal experience of both giving and receiving love.

• Know how to soothe yourself: Familiarity with your feelings helps you make appropriate choices in every phase of your life. When you know how you feel, you also know how to comfort yourself when you're stressed or tired. What makes you most comfortable? What soothes you? What helps you recharge? It can be anything from a bubble bath, a session of shooting baskets, a yoga session, or your favorite music to a long walk in the country, a good workout, a phone conversation with your best friend, or a nap. Make a list of your favorite "personal rechargers" and include simple things you can do cheaply (such as relax with a cup of tea and read a favorite book) and also things that are very special (such as a vacation or a massage or a facial). Keep the list where you can refer to it whenever you feel in need of a recharge, and make use of it often.

• Maintain your happiness: Doing what you can to bring as much happiness as possible to yourself and others. Being happy is undeniably good for you; the endorphins it releases reduce stress and pain, and boost your health and immune system. Happiness makes you glad to be alive and pleasant to be around.

• Set aside regular time for yourself: Me time is important for nurturing your relationship with yourself. It is proof that you care about yourself, just as when partner spends time with you, you feel cared about. Take your time for you as seriously as your business appointments or time with your partner. It will help you stay on an even keel, and be a better partner.

• Spend time with people you love: Being with people you care about and who care about you is a great way to affirm your value as a person, and to confirm that your life has meaning and purpose. Make sure you take good care of your friendships and your relationship. Knowing you are loved is a great way to take care of you. Emotional maintenance means thinking about emotional health and staying in touch with your feelings. When you focus on emotional self-care, you and your partner will find hope and energy are created, which gives you even more reason for gratitude.

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