What's Stopping You From Dreaming Big

This was taken right around the time that my big dream to move to California was born. This was on a family trip to Disneyland & Universal Studios in California when I was 8 years old. At the time I was reading the Sweet Valley High books - remember those?! - where Jessica and Elizabeth lived in Malibu and drove around in a red convertible Fiat!! "THAT sounds amazing", I thought!!!

And so the dream was formed!

Funny enough my Mom found some of my old journals recently, where I had written down what I wanted to do when I grew up. Helping poor people and owning the Humane Society were written down. I was watching a TON of those commercials where the German Sheppard was basically crying, and they went on to tell us how much he'd been abused:(

I remember thinking that I was going to own all of the dogs in the world and live on a huge fenced in lot by the beach in Malibu, where people would have to be interviewed by me to see if they were fit to own a dog!

Some things never change. You can count on me to always let you know what is fair and what is not. I'm working on that...

What is that dream deep inside of you that's pulling at your heart strings? Read today's article below to learn where I landed on my dreams, what tends to get in the way of people making their dreams come true, and that it's absolutely okay to course correct along the way!

What's Stopping you from Dreaming Big?
See if you can tune into what you were wanting to do when you were little. I had the memory of California and the humane society, but I didn't realize I had also said that I wanted to help poor people! I remember saying in grade 6 (so age 11ish), that I wanted to either be a lawyer or a model, but not that part.

Well I definitely believe I'm doing my part to help poor people - I'm going to reframe that into helping people live abundant lives! - but the latter - the dog part - came about in a really interesting way!

And no, I don't own the humane society or all of the dogs in the world!

BUT I did work with a client once who is a K9 trainer who helps medics around the world care for the dogs who are on the job. Think guys jumping out of helicopters and landing on jet skis - she helps those types of handlers! Her training has helped to save countless animals, and as we worked on growing her business she was able to help even more dogs and people. When I was working with her awhile back, the realization set in that I was actually helping to make a difference in dogs' lives. It was a cool realization.

Throughout my childhood, whenever I felt "sad" I would think of going "home", which to me was palm trees, sunshine and the ocean. I'm not sure where this came from, but it was there. Like a knowing.

And being able to manifest something like that - that was such a big dream for me - has truly become my purpose - showing others we absolutely can be, do and have anything in life! We truly are limitless!

So what gets in the way?

Well a couple of things.

I do remember dating someone once and I shared with his parents that I wanted to help animals. I was pretty much shamed because they said there were so many people to help and why would I help animals instead?

Hmmm...

Insert doubt. I pretty much felt like a bad person for wanting to do that.

How often do we listen to other people and then talk ourselves right out of something as a result?

Don't get me wrong, feedback and validation are important, but not when it works against our dreams! Not when it talks us out of going after what lies in our hearts.

Our desires are given to us for a reason. It's how we know what our purpose is.

Most people spend tons of time and money trying to figure out their purpose, but we already have the answer inside of us if we would listen. It's our heart's desires, it's what makes us happy and what brings us joy. All we need to do is follow that and let it the rest unfold.

Which brings me to another reason people don't follow their dreams. They can't see "how" their dreams will happen and so they give up. This is one of the biggest areas to let go of in order to use the law of attraction to manifest our dreams and desires. It's not up to us! Look at the K9 medic story! I never could have dreamt that up in a million years!

Which leads me to it being okay to course correct. Our childhood and adulthood desires might look a little different, and that's okay.

I remember a friend saying to me once that I didn't actually make it to Malibu, but I was close! At least that's how I heard her say it anyway.

If we're being that knit picky we've lost sight of the whole thing. The dream was palm trees and the ocean in California, to which I achieved. I consciously chose which area I wanted to be in after living in California for 4 years. We visited San Diego a few times and absolutely loved it and the more laid-back lifestyle. It's what worked for us (insert also thinking about husbands and kids too - which I definitely didn't have at 8 years old;-)

It's absolutely okay to course correct and adapt your dreams as you go. I never would have thought I would be paid to be a speaker or start a second business in real estate investing when I first started my entrepreneurial efforts!

If we're shown the entire picture all at once it would be wayyy too overwhelming to bring to fruition anyway. But if we keep saying yes, one step at a time, to what brings us joy and what we're interested in, we will always be on track with creating a happy and purposeful life!

We just have to go for it!

xoxo

P.S. I don't know about you, but I have been so tired these last few days. I think something to do with a full moon?? Anyway, as I was sitting down to write this article it felt like pulling teeth. I didn't know how I was going to do it. But as I got started, I was reenergized writing about this topic. I got so excited writing about manifesting our dreams that I got a total energy burst! Another sure sign that we're on track with doing what we love ?

Chris Atley is an award winning coach, speaker and bestselling author. She has been featured on various media outlets such as Bloomberg Radio, Fox, ABC and the Manhattan Neighborhood Network.

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Do You Set Realistic Goals

Any type of goal setting is often considered a fundamental part of any types of personal development or life coaching or 12-step recovery. The idea is simply to set objectives that you then try to achieve. At some point you evaluate your efforts and results, and make any necessary adjustments that may be due.

The question of realistic goals is really important. The goal must be achievable in some way, and at the same time must not be too easy so that it does not require any effort to stretch on the part of the person trying to achieve it.

When looking at goals that other people are setting, it is quite easy to be reasonably objective about what you think they can and cannot achieve. This is especially true if you know the person well, or you know their situation or environment.

Where it becomes more difficult, is where the individual has real levels of self-doubt about their own capabilities, and find the very notion of goal setting difficult to imagine.

It is not, usually, that the person does not want to achieve things. It is more that they struggle with the notion of how much control they have over their own life. On the whole, people tend to set goals that are not achievable, either because they aim too high, or they sometimes give up too easily.

Setting realistic goals is a very hard thing to do. Failure to meet goals can re-inforce a lot of negative thinking about someone's ability to have control of their life. This can make any type of meeting future goals even more difficult.

One of the ways through this, is to stop setting goals that are very specific. This tends to go against the standard advice about goal setting. People normally say set very clear and specific goals, that can easily be measured. Whilst this is sound advice in one sense it does make the whole issue much more black and white than it needs to be.

What sometimes works much better, is for people to set goals that are really about a process, rather than a specific milestone or event. The nature of process is much easier to grasp, is actually very easy to evaluate and does not tend to be so judgemental.

When talking about being judgemental, it is important to realise that it is normally the person themselves who are quite judgemental about their abilities of performance. This sense of judgement is likely to be about their sense of self or their identity.

The nature of process allows people to move forward from a position of where they are, at their own pace. In some ways this is a good thing, as it does not force people beyond the capabilities. At the same time, one of the benefits of goal setting is to stretch people to do more than they thought they were able to.

Goal setting that revolves around a process can do this by instilling a sense of self belief in the person, that can overcome a sense of negativity or judgement that may be there in the first place. Using a process based goal setting agenda involves a different mindset to normal goal setting.

It is however, just as achievable, and in many ways can be of much more benefit to people who struggle with their sense of self, or low levels of self-worth or self-esteem.

Peter Main is a freelance writer who specializes in issues around alcoholism and 12 step recovery. This includes articles on the Serenity Prayer and whether or not AA is a Cult

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The power of vulnerability | Brené Brown

5 Self Improvement Tips You Need to Try to Live Your Best Life

According to a recent study, a shockingly sad 85% of people say they suffer from a lack of self-confidence.

To make matters worse, only one out of every three Americans say they’re currently happy with where they are in life.

Worldwide, only 13% of people say they’re enthusiastic about going to work everyday. 

These statistics all point to one thing: most people seem at least somewhat unsatisfied with their lives.

Are you one of them?

If so, you need to read this post. We’ve collected 5 of the top self improvement tips you need to try to start seeing your life — and yourself — in a better light.

1. Enroll In A Self Improvement Course

Sometimes, you need the support of a group environment to help you propel yourself forward.

A group mentality doesn’t just hold you accountable. It also allows you to listen to the stories of others who may have faced the same challenges as you — and came out on the other side.

Look at options like the avatar energy master target course or even look for local mental health support groups to get started.

2. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

It’s natural to want to see how you stack up in comparison to those around you. Social media has made it easier than ever.

It’s so simple to get stuck in a cycle of self-loathing, anxiety, and jealousy when compare where you are in life to your friends of family members.

Doing this will only hold you back. Remember, no matter how it might look on Facebook, these people also have their own challenges.

Plus, everyone has their own set of circumstances that influence the choices they make.

Our best advice? Log off, and celebrate your own accomplishments.

3. Ask Yourself This One Question Every Day

Many of us set lofty goals for ourselves — and we want to achieve them quickly.

However, get realistic about your pacing, and the actual attainability of these goals.

Before you fall asleep every night, ask yourself this question:

“What is one thing I did today that got me a step closer to my goals?”

This way, you’ll be able to clearly see that, even if all your dreams didn’t come true overnight, you’re well on your way to making them happen.

4. Give Back

Many of us struggle with a sense of self-worth. However, very few of us realize just how important we are to so many around us.

One way to start understanding how much you matter is by giving back.

Get involved in local volunteer work. Assist in taking care of your community garden, or volunteer at a local soup kitchen.

Even donate some of your own clothing to a shelter, or office your design services to a nonprofit.

This will help you to see the value in your life, and you’ll understand that even small actions can make a big difference.

5. Remember: You Deserve Success

Many people wrongly feel that the reason they aren’t successful is because they don’t deserve to be.

Stop beating yourself up over past choices and wishing you’d done things differently. You know in your heart that you’re just as worthy of success as every else.

Changing your mindset — and even repeating positive mantras to yourself in the mirror — will boost your self-confidence.

Use These Self Improvement Tips To Boost Your Self-Worth

We hope these five self improvement tips have reminded you about the importance of self-care.

No matter where you are in life, it’s always important to check in with yourself. Taking some time to focus on you is far from selfish — in fact, it can help you be more productive and more empathetic to the people around you.

Looking for more tips on how to improve your life? Check out our website for more helpful articles.

Make today the day you start moving forward.

How To Stop Being Controlled By Your Habits, Your Fears And The Opinions Of Others

Allow Life To Show You Endless Possibilities

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It's fair to say there are many things that hold us back from living an extraordinary life. We are controlled by our habits or lack of them, our fears and the opinions of others. This impacts our self-esteem and prevents us from revealing our unique gifts and talents. Yes, we all have extraordinary gifts to share, even if they are unfamiliar to you. Those who achieve extraordinary things, go on a quest to develop their talents to bring to the world. How about you? What are your exceptional talents and gifts? Are you aware of them or are you still developing those qualities?

Irrespective of where you are, life is about discovering our authentic self and living according to our highest values. Therefore, we mustn't be restricted by limiting factors as they reduce the potential to become our best selves. It is a given we will make mistakes and encounter setbacks throughout our life. But this serves a purpose, insofar as it strengthens our inner resolve and character. Think about this in your own life. What difficulties have you faced that contributed to the person you are today? What lessons did you discover through your difficulties?

What follows is how we can overcome being controlled by our habits, fears and the opinions of others. An extraordinary life is not one that resembles others, such as rock stars or Hollywood actors. It is an exceptional life established in overcoming your setbacks and challenges and discovering the essence of your core self. To live an extraordinary life needn't be as terrifying as we think. It requires setting aside our beliefs of what we deserve and allowing life to show us endless possibilities. It entails healing and transforming our former life, such as our past or unnecessary baggage we are still holding on to.

Your Habits

Many people are controlled by their habits because they choose less than optimal routines that are easy. But this comes at a price and catches up to us quicker than we expect. I don't intend to belittle your choices but highlight how we live below what we are capable of. This is my experience coaching clients for over a decade. I have seen a pattern in virtually every individual I've coached and that is: many of them are not aware of their potential because of their poor habit choices.

Therefore, we must conquer our limiting habits and move towards what is in our best interest. For example, people often say they don't feel like going to the gym to work-out. On the other hand, the successful person sets these feelings aside and shows up, irrespective of how they feel. I constantly have this dialogue with myself when I don't feel like swimming laps at my local pool or going to the gym. I observe my thoughts, thank them and still show up because I know, once I arrive, things inevitably change. The key is to not be dictated by our emotions but rely on strong habits and discipline, to live a remarkable life. It requires setting aside our fleeting emotions to focus on the long game.

Your Fears

Our fears rule our life, to the degree they impede our ability to attain happiness. I know an impressive deal about fear, since it was imprinted upon me by my well-intentioned mother growing up. She would constantly exclaim: "watch out" or "be careful" and I developed a paranoia about taking risks. Can you identify with this in your own life? Have you experienced something similar that it became a part of your life, unknowingly? In my case, I stopped taking risks because fear dominated my life. This came at a cost to my happiness because I ceased to step outside my comfort zone. I was dictated by my fears, while others refused to allow their fears to dominate them.

What I'm suggesting is, we must transform our fears, instead of allowing them to rule our life. We ought to confront them head on, since fear isn't as terrible as we think. It is the fear of fear we are most scared of and why we prefer to stay in our comfort zone. Negative emotions don't feel good, but we can still learn a lot about our darkness, if we stop running away from it. Therefore, confront your fears instead of being owned by them.

The Opinions Of Others

"Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire." - Dale Carnegie

I don't know many people that don't care about the opinions of others. I recall a well-known celebrity who moved into our neighbourhood long ago, once said to me: what other people think of me is none of my business. At the time, I didn't understand the impact of that statement until recent years. Similarly, my father rarely cared what others thought of him because he made choices that were in his family's best interests. This annoyed others, but my father didn't care because he chose the welfare of his family over the opinions of others.

We can become imprisoned to what others think of us, which doesn't matter because they are not living our life. If people pleasing makes us unhappy, we are not living according to our authentic self. So, I urge you to look within and examine why you want to conform to what others think of you? What advantage do you get pleasing others, at the expense of your own misery? There is often a deep-rooted need for others to like us, but this comes at a cost to our self-esteem and self-worth. Eventually, we must conquer this limiting behaviour and make choices that benefit our future. When we stop being controlled by our habits, our fears and the opinions of others, we are no longer imprisoned by something external to us.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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